Freak
by Addicted Archangel
Summary: A rejection sends Reid on a destructive path on which he encounters both pain and enjoyment as he tries to convince himself that he is not the freak he believes himself to be. Reid/OMC slash, violence, general grossness.
1. Rejection

**A/N: Okay, this is my first try for a slash-story that actually has a plot, not just PWP. Lemme know how I do. Beta read by the lovely editor frog.**

-o-o-o-

The conversation did not take the turns Morgan wanted it to as he and Reid had finished their dinner.

He had had a spirited discussion with Hotch earlier that day concerning the youngest agent's currently odd and slightly irrational behavior. The unit chief had wanted to talk to the young man about what was going on, but Morgan claimed that he would have a better chance to get Reid to open up, and the two decided that it was worth a shot.

Inviting a reluctant young doctor to his apartment after work for a pizza and a movie, Morgan felt fairly confident that he could get under the boy's skin enough to figure out what was going on. As Reid realized what the evening's ulterior motive was, however, he became rather enraged, and Morgan was the one in the way to take the heat when the kitchen exploded.

"Will you at least listen to me, Reid!?" Morgan tried desperately to calm the young man down.

"Why should I?!"

The young doctor furiously shoved Morgan's hand off his shoulder and tried to walk away from the man trying to talk some sense into him. It wasn't what he needed right now. What he needed couldn't be found here. He couldn't stay here. He had to leave.

"I'm leaving", the young man said as he grabbed his satchel from the chair in the living room and swiftly walked towards the door. The hand grabbing his arm stopped him.

"You know I can't let you leave, not like this."

"You're not in the position to allow or forbid me to do _anything_, Morgan!" Yanking at his arm, the young agent tried to tear loose from his colleague's firm grip, but it wouldn't budge. "Let me go!"

"Not until you talk to me!"

"Well, what do you want me to say!?" Turning sharply towards Morgan, Reid came face to face with the other agent, an annoyed glare in his eyes. "Huh, Morgan?! What do you want me to say!?"

"I want you to tell me what the hell is going on with you!"

"Screw you!" Finally breaking the hold his colleague had on him, the young doctor stumbled backwards, raced towards the door and opened it, only to have it slammed shut before his eyes.

Morgan stood beside him, a fire burned in his eyes like Reid had never seen before. Holding a strong hand on the door, he prevented the younger agent from exiting his apartment.

"What is up with you, kid?! This isn't like you!"

"You don't know shit about me, Morgan!" Trying to move his co worker away from the door, he failed miserably and suddenly found himself pushed backwards back into the living room.

"Look, Reid!" Morgan growled as he grabbed the young man's shirt, forcing him to walk in reverse. "I don't know what the hell you are on, but you need to snap out of it – right now!" Giving Reid a hard shove, the older agent hurled him onto the couch, and he landed with an 'umpf'.

"Now you sit down and shut the hell up!" Pointing his index finger at the now rather shocked agent, the older man turned and walked quickly into the kitchen.

Reid sat up on the couch, trying to regain some sort of composure. He had never seen Morgan this mad at anyone, except for the odd UnSub. Knowing he had been way out of line by cursing at his colleague, the young agent prepared an apology when he heard the rapid footsteps return from the kitchen.

"Morgan, I-I..."

"Shut up, kid. Just for once, shut up." Placing a bottle on the table along with two small glasses, Morgan sat down beside his colleague. "You and I are going to have a drink, and calm down. And then we're going to talk." He unscrewed the cap from the bottle and began pouring up the clear liquid into the glasses.

"Uhm, I don't...I...don't usually..."

"_We are __**going**__ to have a drink and calm down_", Morgan repeated, emphasizing every word of the short and effective sentence.

Reid fell silent. There was no room for negotiation. Taking the glass the older man gave him, he put it to his lips and tasted the drink. The next second he was spluttering and coughing violently. It tasted like lighter fluid.

"What is that?" he wheezed as his face turned a bright red.

"Reid, man – you're not suppose to taste it. You down it. Like this." Putting the glass to his lips and swiftly jerking his head back, Morgan practically threw the small shot of alcohol down his throat. A sharp swallow and a sigh finished the ritual. "Now you go."

There was not an inch of his body that welcomed the vile, burning liquid pouring down his throat, but the young man managed to keep it down while coughing and drawing deep breaths.

Morgan took the glass from his hand and set it down on the table. "Now", he said in a firm voice. "We're gonna talk."

Reid looked at his hands, which were twisting in his lap. Refusing to meet Morgan's eyes, he screwed his lips shut and remained silent.

"Okay, I'll talk", Morgan said. "Reid, there is something wrong. Something's going on that I can't put my finger on – but it's there. And I'm not a mind reader, kid. I need you to tell me, because if you don't tell me, I can't help you."

"I don't want help", Reid mumbled under his breath, beginning to feel how the very strong drink spread in his body, making his limbs tingle.

"You might not want it, but Reid – you need it."

"I don't need help."

"You need _something_."

"Another drink."

"What?"

"What I need is another drink. A big one." Reid didn't know why he wanted more of that disgusting fluid, but somehow it seemed to ease the thoughts that were circling his head.

Morgan quickly poured the young agent another drink and handed it to him. Downing it in a heartbeat, the boy held out the glass. "One more."

"Reid..."

"Just pour it."

Sighing, Morgan poured yet another drink which the young man downed, and after that yet another. But following the fifth drink, Reid put the glass down on the table with a slight wobble.

Thankful for the spin in his head, the young man leaned back in the couch, exhaling deeply. The pleasant buzzing feeling coursing through his body made him smile on the inside as he watched Morgan down his third drink.

"Had enough?" The older agent gave his colleague a slight smile.

"For now." Not knowing whether he'd ever want another drink for as he lived, Reid rubbed his eyes to try and get rid of the fog that seemed to want to keep covering his line of sight.

"Can we talk now?"

Reid remained silent, to Morgan's dismay.

"You need to get it out of your system. Whatever it is, you can't keep it bottled up forever. It'll end up destroying you."

Silence.

"It can't possibly be so bad that you can't talk to me about it."

Silence.

"Please, kid – I'm doing my best here."

Silence.

"Reid. Please, look at me." Reaching out towards the young agent, Morgan took his chin and lifted it, forcing the boy to make eye contact with him. Big, sad hazel puppy eyes looked straight into his brown ones. "I'm your friend. Have I ever lied to you? Have I ever let you down? Please, talk to me."

But Reid said nothing. What was eating the young man from the inside was something no one would ever know about, at least not other than the people who were involved. And Morgan wasn't one of them.

Morgan sighed and dropped his gaze. "I'm spent, kid. I don't know what to do anymore." Resting his face briefly in his palms, the agent looked back up at his younger counterpart. "You know I'd do anything to help you, but I can't do a damn thing if you don't tell me what is going on." The look of complete hopelessness covered his face as he looked at the young doctor next to him in the couch.

Reid didn't know whether it was the alcohol flowing in his system, or if it really was so that he finally had gathered up enough courage to do what he had wanted to do for so long, but something inside the young man loosened as he looked at his colleague who pleaded for him to talk.

Quickly leaning over towards the older agent, Reid placed a kiss on his lips. It only lasted a fraction of a second before Morgan tore away, a panicked look in his eyes.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa...! Kid, what the hell are you doing?"

Reid blushed and sat back down in his place on the couch. Staring at his fiddling hands, he tried to explain himself.

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't...I..."

"Reid!" Something had changed in Morgan's voice, from pleading and friendly to shocked and stand-offish. "I ain't like that. You can't...I...I can't...I'm not gay."

The young agent wanted to sink through the floor. All he had wanted was some closeness, but the alcohol raging in his body had made him go about it entirely wrong.

"I'm not...that...either! I just, I-I just...I'm so lonely...!" The explanation was dreadful as Reid couldn't bring himself to express the words he needed to convey.

"Look... I think we both had a bit too much to drink", Morgan said in a slightly confused voice. "We should...we should call it a night and talk again tomorrow, when the alcohol is out of our systems. Okay?"

Reid wanted to explain. Now he wanted to tell Morgan everything, but he'd had his chance, and blew it. Something inside him sent waves of nausea up his throat, and he had to swallow several times to keep from being sick right there. But he managed to nod in agreement to Morgan's suggestion, although it was not at all what he wanted.

Rising from the couch, they young agent felt the world beginning to spin around him, and he bent over to grab the coffee table to steady himself.

"Kid. You good?" Morgan asked, but didn't make a move to help the young man.

"Mmm." Reid felt that if he spoke right now, he'd throw up instantly.

"I'll call you a cab." Reaching into his pocket, the older agent pulled out his cell phone and called the local taxi company, while the boy staggered into the bathroom, relieving himself of whatever little stomach contents he had.

20 minutes later, Reid sat in a cab on the way to his apartment. Morgan had given the cabbie money for the ride and told him to follow the young man to the door.

Sitting in the backseat, the boy looked out the window trying not to pass out. His head spun at a ridiculous speed, and the quickly passing surroundings did nothing to ease his nausea. Suddenly his stomach did a wild twist, and wanted to leave his body.

"Stop!" he squeaked, reaching for the handle for the door.

"What?" the cabbie answered, somewhat startled by the sudden exclamation.

"Stop, I have to...!" But he didn't get any further in his sentence, and the cabbie didn't have time to stop before Reid proceeded to spew the rest of what was left in his rather empty stomach straight into the foot well of the cab.

"Hey, what the fuck are you doing!?" The cab driver was furious as he realized what the drunken young man was doing in the back of his car. Pulling over to the curb, he stepped out of the car and tore the rear passenger door open. "Get out!"

Reid was still trying to come back to the world after his sudden attack of nausea, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "I'm sorry..."

"I said get out, you little freak!" Grabbing the lanky young man by the arm, the driver practically dragged him out of the car, dropping him unceremoniously onto the pavement. "Disgusting bastard... Lucky your friend paid me more than the fare so I can get this cleaned up!"

Returning to the driver's seat, the cabby rapidly sped off, leaving the young man sitting dazed and disorientated on the sidewalk.

Looking dizzily up at the street signs and surrounding buildings, Reid rubbed his head.

_Where am I?_

_-o-o-o-_


	2. Release

**A/N: Alright, people - there is a big, HUGE**

**!! WARNING !! LOOK !! WARNING !!**

**on this one! Here be graphic violence and sexual contents, Reid/OMC slash and other rather nasty stuff!! I'm serious, weak of heart should not read!!**

**-o-o-o-**

After sitting on the pavement for a while, the young agent finally managed to get his head straight enough to recognize where he was. It wasn't too far from his home, only a mile or so. Figuring he could walk the distance, he got to his feet and began his wobbly journey home.

Reid walked the street, keeping his hands stuffed deep in his pockets. It was just after 1PM and people were moving all around him, more or less tipsy. The night air was cool and refreshing, and the young man's mind was finally beginning to clear up. The slight stagger in his walk was gone, and his sight was free from the annoying clouds that had lingered in front of his eyes.

What had he been thinking? Of course Morgan hadn't wanted him. He was a drunk, pathetic freak who practically threw himself on his colleague. Reid was fully aware of his older counterpart's sexual orientation, after all – he had seen him on numerous occasions with women of all sizes and colors. There was not one crooked nook in Morgan's system

All he had wanted was someone to touch him. To hold him. To make him feel alive again. There had been nothing for so long now, and Reid began to feel more and more disgusting. Of course no one wanted to touch him, he thought to himself. He was a freak--nothing more.

Turning a corner, the young agent realized he had unconsciously walked the same streets as he often had in the past, and found himself heading straight toward his old hangout. He slowed his pace for a heartbeat, questioning if he should really be going back here right now, in this state. Pushing the doubts out of his mind, he picked up his pace again and continued on his path to redemption.

The faces were all the same. A few new ones, to be sure, but mostly the same.

Looking at their clothes and manners, Reid quickly discarded more than half of them. An overwhelming percentage of the ones who were left were ones he had already known.

Reid sighed.

_What am I doing? I should go home. I should..._

Before he could finish his train of thought, his eyes fell on new addition to the well known gang who had placed themselves along the brick wall parting a night club and a Greek restaurant.

He was as tall as the young agent, who had stopped his pacing some 20 feet away from him. Wearing black jeans, boots and a red t-shirt with black print, the new one stood leaning against the wall, one leg bent with the foot placed on the brick behind him. His head was tilted forward slightly, and brown strands of hair hung as a curtain in front of his face.

Reid couldn't take his eyes off of the new one. There was something about him...

The other ones recognized him and waved, calling for his attention. They all loved the young, handsome man who seemed to have too much money for his pockets to hold. But tonight, Reid's attention had been shifted from his usual to the new one.

Taking a few steps towards the new addition to the group, the young doctor kept his hands in his pockets and tried to peer under the curls covering the features of the fresh meat before him.

As he closed in, the man by the wall looked up and his eyes met Reid's. Hazel meeting amber. There was a spark.

The young doctor gave the latest expansion a flat smile and a slight nod. The man didn't move a muscle, but there was something in his eyes telling Reid to continue.

"Hey."

"Hello", the man answered shortly. His voice was deep and didn't seem to fit the slender frame he possessed.

"How much?"

"Depends."

"On?"

"What do you want?"

"Regular."

"Top or bottom?"

Reid blushed slightly. "Um...top."

"Then 50."

"How much is bottom?"

"You couldn't afford it." A smirk grazed the nameless man's lips as he never let Reid's eyes slip away.

"Maybe not. So, where...?"

"I have a place." The man turned and began walking. After a few steps, he half turned around, still walking. "You coming?"

"Yes." Reid shuffled after the man who was walking rapidly down the street.

The ones behind them called out for Reid to come back and choose one of them instead, but tonight the young doctor's attention was focused solely on the novelty of the group.

-o-o-o-

"Here it is."

The man opened the door into a small apartment. Stepping inside, Reid was instantly reminded of his own place. Wooden furniture, books and beige walls. This didn't look like any of the apartments he had previously visited during his tours of redemption. They were usually sparsely furnished with nothing but a bed and a lamp.

"You have a nice place."

"Thanks."

"So, um..."

"Money up front." The man turned to Reid with a look that expressed no feelings whatsoever.

Knowing the routine, the young doctor pulled the bill from his pocket and gave it to the man in front of him. As he took it from the slender fingers, Reid ran them through his hair. "What's your name?"

"Call me Ian", the man said stuffing the bill in his jeans pocket.

Reid nodded slightly as he felt a hand land gently on the side of his arm. He jerked instantly and pulled away.

"What?" A mixed look of shock and annoyance came over Ian.

"N-nothing, I just...I..."

"Nervous?"

"No, I..."

"Then come on." Ian walked down a narrow hallway, pulling off his t-shirt as he went. His skin was tanned, but not artificial, and the toned body looked amazing in the dim light from the street outside.

Reid followed.

The bedroom was small as well, but nicely furnished. Whoever this man was he had impeccable taste. Ian had climbed onto the bed and now lay looking at the fidgeting agent standing in the doorway.

"Come on, doll." He patted the bed beside him. "I'll take good care of you."

"No."

"What?"

"I don't...uh...want...that."

"You just wanna talk? I can do that." Ian sat up on the bed, brushing wayward strands of brown hair out of his face.

"No, I..." Reid fiddled with his fingers as he looked at the rug on the floor. Hand woven mohair.

"What is it that you want, doll?" Ian rose and walked over to the uncomfortable agent. "Tell me what it is, and we'll work from that, okay?"

The other man reached out and took Reid's hand, and this time the young doctor didn't pull away. Instead he tightened his grip on the hand in his and raised his eyes to meet those of Ian. The big puppy eyes stared straight into Ian's piercing amber ones.

"I want...I want..."

"Tell me, doll." The other man brushed hair out of Reid's face and tried to make the young agent feel somewhat more comfortable.

"I want you to...hurt me."

Ian didn't move a muscle, but Reid's eyes fell immediately to the floor after uttering his shameful words.

"I see. Anything else?" There was no sign of disgust or repulsion in Ian's voice as he asked his follow-up question.

"Yes, I...want you to...call me...stuff..."

"Okay. How bad?"

"Bad."

"Alright. Blood?"

"Yes."

"Bones?"

"No."

"Okay. Do you have a word?"

"Fish."

"Fish it is." Ian took a step towards the now shaking man before him. "May I?"

Reid nodded slightly, not looking up at the man talking to him. He felt his glasses being removed and heard footsteps as Ian walked over to a large dresser and placed the item on top of it.

On the way back, the footsteps became slower and heavier. Reid closed his eyes and waited. It was only a matter of seconds before it would begin.

The blow to the side of his head still took him by surprise, and he was sent reeling into the adjoining wall. His head span as he tried to crawl up into a ball before the kicking started.

The boots impacted with Reid's stomach, groin and legs as the young man howled from the pain, trying to shelter himself with his arms from the array of blows.

"You disgusting little freak!" Ian spat as he sank his hand into Reid's thick curls, twisting his head into an impossible position. A punch in the nose stopped the choked sobs emerging from the young man's throat, but instead released a gush of blood from his nose and split his lip.

"You think you're normal? You're not!? You're a sick little fuck!"

Dragging Reid by the hair over the floor, Ian threw him on the parquet and sat astride him, holding him by the throat.

"You like being a bitch, don't you? I know you do..." he hissed through his teeth, his face being a mere inch from the young man's.

Another punch to the face, and Reid's neck cracked in a horrifying way and almost everything went dark, but he could still hear Ian yelling profanities at him and he could still feel the pain. The sweet, intoxicating pain. It was what he had been aching for for so long. The feeling of being alive. It was almost like being drunk, and his head spun at an awesome rate.

Coming back to the world, the young doctor saw Ian sitting across his hips as he lay on the floor. "I-I-I..." he began, but was rudely interrupted by a fist to the stomach.

"Did I say you could talk, you revolting piece of deviant shit?!"

Suddenly, an alarm went off inside the young man. This could end badly. Very badly. Why had he done this? He really was stupid. Second thoughts came rushing.

"Please…wait...please don't do this…you're hurting me!" Reid squirmed on the floor underneath the stronger man, who had had pinned the young agent's thin wrists in a bruising grip over his head. The other rough hand of the man atop the young man, tightly grabbed his throat, causing the young doctor to gasp in fear and surprise.

"Shut up. You wanted this."

"I...I..." No matter how much Reid tried, he couldn't force the words to come out of his mouth. He wanted to say the word; the word that would make Ian stop, but there was nothing more than a few meek whimpers escaping his lips.

A vicious backhand to his face sent his head spinning, and rational thinking was no longer possible.

"I said shut up."

Ian spat straight in Reid's face.

"God, you're so fucking disgusting."

"I..."

"You what, freak?!" Ian screamed an inch from his face.

"I want..."

"What?!"

"...you..."

Releasing the young man from his bruising grip, Ian jumped off him and began unbuckling his jeans.

"Get your clothes off, freak."

Complying, Reid unbuttoned his cords with fingers shaking from excitement and fear, and lying on the floor he wriggled out of his pants. Ian stood above him, naked as the day he was born.

"Get up."

Reid tried to rise, but the pain in his ribs was too bad, and he winced, falling back to his knees. Feeling the same strong hand in his hair, his head was violently titled backwards. There was now a pressure against his lips, and he opened his mouth, taking in every inch of Ian's pride.

He moved with hard thrusts in and out of the young man's mouth, groaning with every move. Ian could feel the freak cough and gag against his member, but continued until the intrusion became too much for the young agent.

On the last thrust, Reid could no longer hold it in, and vomited, still holding Ian's member deep in his throat. Tears of humiliation and pain ran down his cheeks as he screwed his eyes shut, only to receive another slap over the face.

"Look at me!"

Widening his eyes, Reid looked up at the fierce man who held his hair in an iron grip.

Pulling out, Ian let the young man paint the floor with his lunch for a few moments before dragging the soiled man over to the bed, pushing him face forward onto the bedspread.

To Reid, everything went very fast. There was horrible pain in his nether regions, and he cried out only to get a fist in the back of the head.

"Shut up, freak!"

Heavily sobbing and howling in pain while Ian violently abused him from behind, Reid finally found the release he had so desperately been seeking; he felt alive in every part of his being, and he could finally let out all the tears he had been hiding for so long. And moments later, another release came as the young man climaxed under Ian's strong arms as he continued to thrust into the little freak.

Moments later, Ian also swerved over the edge, and with a loud groan, he dug his fingernails deep into Reid's bony hips and shot his load deep inside the young agent beneath him. Panting, he fell to the side of Reid who lay still on the bed, trying to catch his breath.

Ian rolled over on his stomach and lay close enough to Reid for their arms and hips to touch. Stroking a strand of sweaty, bloody hair out of the young man's face, he gave him a small smile.

"Are you okay?"

The answer took a few seconds. "Yes. Thank you."

"Welcome."

Slowly, the young agent sat up; a straining move and it was very difficult for him to sit. Looking at the mess on the floor, he blushed.

"I'm sorry... Should I...?"

"No, I'll fix that. Don't worry." The smile lingered. "Did I do well?"

Reid sighed. "Very." A hint of a smile grazed his split lips, and he wiped some blood from his nose. "Bathroom?"

"Down the hall to the right."

"Thanks."

After visiting the bathroom and cleaning up the mess he made on himself, the young doctor got dressed. Ian took the bathroom after him, and not many words were spoken.

Taking his glasses from the dresser, Reid reached into his pocket and pulled out a hundred dollar bill, placing it where the glasses used to be. He was more than happy with the service, and would definetely become a recurring customer.

Silently, he tip toed out the door while Ian was in the shower, and left the apartment.

On the way home he cried silent angry tears.

_Why do I have to be a freak?_

_-o-o-o-_

**Quicklist for those of us who are not familiar with the dominant/submissive lingo:  
**

**Top: Dominant, he who is in charge  
Bottom: Usually the reciever, the submissive  
Word: Also known as safeword, a word with no connection at all to sex or pain, that if used will make the Top stop immediately  
Regular: Not a dom/sub-expression, but just in case anyone is a bit off, regular is ordinary s e x, then there's manual and oral.. lol I feel like such a professor..**

**Gonna go to bed now.. Hope you had fun!**

**/AA**


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